Over at Shelley Watters' blog, Is It Hot In Here Or Is It This Book, she's having an agent critique contest! The first stage of the contest is to post your first 250 words and other writers can blog hop around and critique each other. Then on May 31st, you submit your polished 250 on Shelley's blog, and Judith Engracia of Liza Dawson and Associates will pick one to receive a 10-page critique and maybe request more pages! I love these sorts of contests. So, here's the first page of Countless, my urban fantasy novel. Critique away!
He had found his prey at last. From across the room he took in every detail of her face, though he knew it well. The full lips, thin nose and most of all the deep green eyes. Green like a highland meadow or a piece of lustrous sea glass. His eyes traced the moon-pale curve of her calves down to her stilettos. She had raven hair this time.
One hundred and ninety-four years had passed since he’d last seen her. That time when he’d killed her had been different than the times before. He’d made it so that when she came back, she wouldn’t remember a thing. Their times together. The power they’d shared. The life they’d almost had. She’d chosen another path. Taken pity on humanity, decided she didn’t want to go through with their plan. And worse than all that, she’d fallen in love with one of them.
So now, as he watched her, he took a moment to appreciate the beauty of it. She stood here before him, completely oblivious to the fact that she was being hunted. Totally unaware that though she may look human, as he did, she was not. And this time, there would be no temporary death. He had discovered a way to end her forever. She thought of herself as a human now, so she would die like one. Permanently. He had taken her powers, her memories, her lives and her love. Over and over and over again. Now he would take the very last thing he could. Her soul.